If You Don't...
by dutchtulips
Summary: (yes, it's another ami/obi fic! LOL.)after anakin's turning, heartbroken amidala feels an emotional void.


If You Don't

by mrs~*~kenobi

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Standard Disclaimer: I'm with Theed on this...after all these fics I **still **have to say this?! jeesh...Sir Lucas owns it all.... "I Can't Make You Love Me" is by Bonnie Raitt.

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AN~ does it seem to anyone that I've been writing a jillion star wars fics lately? well, with summer vacation (laying around the house, more like) inspiration comes fast. enjoy! :)

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If You Don't

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Queen Amidala yanked open her bedroom door and looked up and down the long corridor. The halls were empty. She sighed. _Where is he? _Amidala wondered. The question got her thinking of why she was so antsy to see Obi-Wan that evening. Maybe she had just imagined his knock a few moments ago...

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Of course I did. There's no other possibility if I open the door and am surprised when Obi-Wan's not there. But where is he?! Amidala thought, clenching her fists and letting them drop furiously against her sides. Pacing the room, the Queen let her steps become heavier. Soon she was practically marching around the room, arms now flaring about in anticipation.

Of course this did not go un-noticed. Obi-Wan had appeared at her door a few minutes after Amidala had pushed it closed. It had not quite closed enough, and the Jedi found himself peeking into the crack between the door and the wall. _What in the world...? _he marveled. _She looks as if she's going to rip her own eyebrows off if something doesn't happen soon._

"Amidala?" Obi-Wan asked in confusion, pushing the door open wider.

The Queen did an about face. She didn't speak; just stared at him. "You're...you're...here..." she finally breathed.

"Uh...yea - " Obi-Wan began to reply, but Amidala's throwing herself into his arms cut him off. "What....um....Amidala...." his voice sounded very confused and unsure. 

"Don't talk. Don't say anything!" she exclaimed. The Queen began kissing Obi-Wan's neck. 

"Amidala! What are you doing!" he exclaimed, very surprised with her actions. 

She stopped momentarily and looked up into Obi-Wan's eyes. "Oh come now," she said. "You know what I'm doing."

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Turn down the lights, turn down the bed 

Turn down these voices inside my head 

Lay down with me, tell me no lies 

Just hold me close, don't patronize - don't patronize me 

"Yes..." Obi-Wan replied slowly. "But I'd rather you wouldn't."

"Why not?" she asked, oblivious.

The Jedi looked at her strangely. Something was wrong. Amidala never acted this way. It seemed as if she was in love with Obi-Wan, and he knew it couldn't be true. He knew. Anakin was the only person she ever loved that way, and he was no longer. 

"I don't love you that way. You don't either," Obi-Wan said.

Amidala only smiled. "Don't lie to me," she replied. 

His eyes got wider. "Listen to me, Amidala. I'm not lying to you. I don't love you that way. You're my closest friend, but that's as far as it will ever go."

The Queen refused to listen to reason. "Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan...don't be afraid..."

Obi-Wan moved closer to the door. He didn't like this at all. "Maybe I should leave..."

"No!" she yelled, throwing her arms around him, pulling him back into the middle of the room, obviously trying to get him closer to her bed.

Every nerve in Obi-Wan's body was shaking. He hadn't any idea how to stop Amidala from doing this. Finally he grabbed her arms.

"Amidala! Stop! You know this isn't the answer! Two lonely hearts coming together aren't going to solve all the problems in the universe! It isn't even going to solve anything between you or me. Rather, it will just make things worse," he told her rationally.

The Queen's brown eyes locked on him. Slowly her expression changed.

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Cause I can't make you love me if you don't 

You can't make your heart feel something it won't 

Here in the dark, in these final hours 

I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power 

But you won't, no you won't 

'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't 

"But...but..." she stammered.

"No," Obi-Wan replied. "No buts."

Amidala started to cry. "I....miss Anakin...I miss him holding me...I miss him lying next to me in the mornings...I miss looking into his eyes...I miss him just being here with me...and it's painful to know that there's nothing I can do to have him back in my arms again!" She fell against Obi-Wan's chest, crying hysterically.

He embraced her, sharing the pain of Anakin's turning. For a moment he didn't say anything. Then, "But Amidala...I'm not Anakin...you and I having a romantic relationship....it wouldn't have made anything any better. It's Anakin you want...not me."

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I'll close my eyes, then I won't see 

The love you don't feel when you're holding me 

Morning will come and I'll do what's right 

Just give me till then to give up this fight 

And I will give up this fight 

Amidala sniffled. "Was it me...why Anakin turned?" she whispered.

"No," Obi-Wan replied abruptly. "Anakin loved you more than life itself. But when his mother died...I suppose his life just fell all apart, taking his love for you with it."

"And you," she put in. "You two were great friends...it pained me just as much to see that end as well."

Obi-Wan looked down at her. "Did it?" he said quietly, the question sounding more of a statement. "But - you have to realize that, although you miss Anakin's love, I could never replace it."

"But I -" she started to explain, but he stopped her.

"Even if you loved me as Obi-Wan, I could never return it. I do love you Amidala, but it's nothing romantic...I know you wish it could be, but...it's not."

"No?" she said.

"No," he echoed with a nod of his head.

Amidala was silent for a long moment. "Can I...can I ask you something?"

Obi-Wan took a breath. "...Sure."

"Will you...will you stay with me for a little while? I won't...do anything...it's just...I need some company...another night alone here...it's something I can't..." Amidala paused. "I need a friend."

"I...of course, Ami. I would never deprive you of that," he replied.

Sitting cross-legged on her bed, Obi-Wan held the Queen close to him. Soon, he sensed her sleeping. But he didn't leave. Tonight's actions from her came from Amidala's own pain, and even if it was romance that she needed, Obi-Wan felt that as her closest friend, he could do more for her than he as her romantic partner could ever do. 

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Cause I can't make you love me if you don't 

You can't make your heart feel something it won't 

Here in the dark, in these lonely hours 

I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power 

But you won't, no you won't 

'Cause I can't make you love me......

if you don't.

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el fin

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